To believe in ART

This next cycle DH and I will be starting the process of ART. DH had to start with a SA to determine if there is anything holding us up on his end. I will be starting with Femara to lower my estrogen levels to delay my ovulation so that my Doc can then give me a injection of  Ovidrel that will force me to ovulate when he wants so we can time everything. I really feel that this new doctor is actively working towards getting us pregnant quickly vs just slowly waiting to see if its going to happen.  

I woke up covered in blood today. This is not a normal thing when my period starts. It's normally a small amount of blood that leads up to more even in the night. I truly feel that I am having an early miscaraige after spotting last week with the slight cramping that accompanied it. I don't know why it never works out for us. 

I dont know how to feel.  I have been cramping since yesterday and then i was spottinb then as well. I am 6 DPO and am trying not to think that this is what it feels for implantation. Its so hard not to think that that is what this is. I dont want to get my hopes up but its so hard not to when the timing is so right and the signs are there.

Cycle 25

That was a hard month... so much going on and not much of it good. Our house that we rent out needs a new furnace  the one there is on its last legs. We have decided thst  are going to put the one in our current house there and purchase a new one for us so that we get to benifit from it.
Its finnaly decided to be spring here, we spent the day yesterday out side working on fixing an erosion problem that we have on theside of our house. We added steps and a kinda retaining wall/raised plater bed. It was nice to work outside for a while. I had spent most of the weekend working on my sister-in-laws vail for her upcoming wedding.
Its been hard the last few days to get our minds off the fact that this last cycle has came and went. I had my own private pitty party on my drive home friday then we had one together friday night.. dh was pretty upset and dissipointed i think more so then i was...

Cycle 24

Cycle 24, two years worth of trying with not much to show. So far we have gone through five rounds of clomid with another five to go, many blood tests and urine analysis'. I've had a Laparoscopy with dye injection results were good no blockages everything inside looked good. Just a small bit of white sticky substance that was flushed with the dye. My doctor and I decided that our next step was to do another three months of clomid and the wait game. After that its off to someone new.

You know, I'm not sure why I torture myself like this with watching these movies about pregnancy and such. All it does is make it hurt worse. But I keep doing it and it just keeps getting worse.

Surgery

I had my Laparoscopy yesterday everything went well my doctor found what was described to me as a sticky substance in my right tube that was flushed out with the dye injection. Other then that everything else looked good I was told. I have a follow up apt in a week and a half to go over things and to discus what's next. I wonder if the substance that was found is why I had cramping with ovulation on the right side. I really hope that this surgery helps us get pregnant. Other wise I'm not really ready to go see a specialist that might not be covered by our insurance.
I forgot to mention that I did eventually get my last period on the 26th of February. It was a normal one for me unlike my last one. I should also ovulate in the next day or two but I don't think we will be able to take advantage of this cycle because of the surgery and the fact that DH is sick with a nasty cold.

Laparoscopy

Today I had my follow up appointment for my three months of clomid. We determined that the clomid didn't work the way we had hoped it would I had another BFN while I was there. I am also three days late. We discussed our next options while at this appointment. Which is to do a HSG or a Laparoscopy or go see a specialist in Grand Rapids. I chose to do the Laparoscopy first then go to the specialist. I'm disappointed that the clomid didn't work DH is so disappointed. It's so rough seeing his face fall when I tell him each month that we're not pregnant.