Cycle 24

Cycle 24, two years worth of trying with not much to show. So far we have gone through five rounds of clomid with another five to go, many blood tests and urine analysis'. I've had a Laparoscopy with dye injection results were good no blockages everything inside looked good. Just a small bit of white sticky substance that was flushed with the dye. My doctor and I decided that our next step was to do another three months of clomid and the wait game. After that its off to someone new.

You know, I'm not sure why I torture myself like this with watching these movies about pregnancy and such. All it does is make it hurt worse. But I keep doing it and it just keeps getting worse.

Surgery

I had my Laparoscopy yesterday everything went well my doctor found what was described to me as a sticky substance in my right tube that was flushed out with the dye injection. Other then that everything else looked good I was told. I have a follow up apt in a week and a half to go over things and to discus what's next. I wonder if the substance that was found is why I had cramping with ovulation on the right side. I really hope that this surgery helps us get pregnant. Other wise I'm not really ready to go see a specialist that might not be covered by our insurance.
I forgot to mention that I did eventually get my last period on the 26th of February. It was a normal one for me unlike my last one. I should also ovulate in the next day or two but I don't think we will be able to take advantage of this cycle because of the surgery and the fact that DH is sick with a nasty cold.

Laparoscopy

Today I had my follow up appointment for my three months of clomid. We determined that the clomid didn't work the way we had hoped it would I had another BFN while I was there. I am also three days late. We discussed our next options while at this appointment. Which is to do a HSG or a Laparoscopy or go see a specialist in Grand Rapids. I chose to do the Laparoscopy first then go to the specialist. I'm disappointed that the clomid didn't work DH is so disappointed. It's so rough seeing his face fall when I tell him each month that we're not pregnant.

cycle 22 i guess

I guess we are playing what I felt as spotting as what was AF. We are starting cycle 22 round 5 of Clomid. Yesterday was so disappointing. I took a test with a BFN and then realized that it was about to expire and was an off brand, so DH and I braved the snowy weather and went to town to purchase another box of tests. This box had a month more before expiration but was a name brand, still a BFN. So I went with the direction of my Doc and started my next and last round of Clomid. If that was AF that came last week we shall see by the end of the month as the next round of AF should arrive two days before my next Doctors apt. No clue as to what happens next but I don't think I can handle seeing DH's face at the end of the month if we have another failed cycle, he was just so sad and disappointed yesterday...

is this it??

Not sure if the time has come that we have both been waiting for. AF was due on Monday and Monday came and went as did Tuesday. Wednesday I woke to some almost light bleeding and light cramping but by Wednesday evening all was gone. Thursday morning came with with nothing in sight so I decided to take a HPT which resulted with a BFN. By early afternoon there was some very, very light bleeding and slight cramps and they were gone by early evening. My cycles have NEVER been like this, none of this start and stopping or being so light. Could this all be implantation bleeding? I had always read it happens earlier then latter. No clue here.
Thursday I just so happened to be in the same building as my Doc so I decided to give a ring and see what he wanted me to do.  I wasn't sure at this point whether to refill my next round of Clomid or to just wait it out and re test in a week or so. He said to test again in three days and to give him a call if I got a BFP or to resume with the Clomid then if there was a BFN. So Far today I haven't had any hint of bleeding or spotting but its still earlyish.
I have had some early pregnancy symptoms but none that are the most common. I have been overly tired the last week or so and have had non stop heart burn for what feels like forever and I'm hungry, like all the time.

to feel better

Today I decided that I wanted to start making my life better. For me, for my husband and for my future children. DH has been going to his offices fitness center three times a week for the past month or so and I have just started to notice some changes in him. Changes that I want for my self, that I need for myself. Since being laid off, I have resorted to being the house wife again and I want to do more with my time off then just job search and sit on the couch. Today I did a 20 minute Zumba like workout and it felt good to feel that burn. That was the first time in about a year that I have done any type of workout.

2 week wait

Another two week wait is under way and DH wants nothing to do with it. He was telling me last night while lying in each others arms "I don't want to wait, take the test now". Some times I feel as if I already have a child in him. He will be a wonderful dad some day, I just hope its sooner rather then latter.  I am 2DPO and can hardly contain my angst in wanting these two weeks to over with so we will know. The past few days have just been hell. I haven't been sleeping well and have had horrible acid reflex. I'm taking them as a sign that these next two weeks are going to be just fun.