Cycle 15

Its that time again.. AF arrived yesterday evening as per her now seems normal arrival with full on cramps, bloating and soar BB. She also arrived without any disappointment.  I knew she would arrive because you well have to have sex to get a BFP.. and well I was unable to get any until this past weekend when I saw DH for the first time in three weeks! It was a real nice and romantic 24 hours in a hotel where we really didn't emerge from our room except to have dinner and drinks with a friend. From where I am sitting right now I do believe this will be the case for my next cycle as well. I am still stuck in the middle of nowhere for another three more weeks. Don't get me wrong I love it up here, the only thing that would make me not ever want to leave is if DH was here with me. I guess the only thing I am looking forward to besides sex is the doctors appointment I have in late august. Maybe then we can start getting things figured out with DH and I.. until next month.

m.

Cycle 14

Its killing me today.. I have not felt this awful from cramps in months if not ever. Why am I forced  to go through this month after month. Can't we just get along and conceive a child already? I mean its one thing to make my breast sore for the whole week before I get my period, but to have mind numbing craps to go with it? Come on!
Other news, I leave for six weeks today.. Looks like I get to feel this way again in another four or so weeks.

Cycle 13

One full year has come and gone as we have been TTC. This last cycle was as confusing as every other one, but what else should I expect..  We are still technically homeless. But come July/August we have a new home with tons of new projects. I am at least now staying where my husband is at and we are no longer "separated" by distance. I have been up with him for the past three weeks and it has been bliss.

Cycle 12

My husband and I have been homeless now for a whole month, we also had a whole cycle go by with a big fat nothing too. DH and I were talking this weekend during one or our many 4+ hour drives over the weekend and the "baby" topic came up. At the end of may marks our one year anniversary of TTC. It is also and anniversary of a a very difficult year. I never truly realized that it was that bad when is was happening. There was always something that covered up the disappointment, the sadness, and the difficult times.
As I look forward to what there is to come, I can't see a pregnancy out there for us until at least September. DH and I are not living together yet because our feline friends are not adjusting well to living with my in-laws felines; which in turn leaves me living with them. (Don't get me wrong I love living with them, and am blessed to have such a wonderful mother and father-in-law, BUT I really want to be living with my husband.) I may be able to move up to where DH is staying hopefully by the end of the month and then at the end of June if I have not found a new job, I will be going back to work at a Summer Camp to volunteer my time again. Then there goes another two months because the summer camp is 6.5 hours away for DH and I am only allotted 24 hours of consecutive off time and the drive is so not worth it when I have to be back by 10 am.
I was able to see my sister and nephew last week, it was so hard to be around her. She's 21 weeks and all I want to do is cry when I see her belly. That hurt feeling isn't so bad when I look at my nephew, I love him to much to feel that way.

Cycle 11

I never thought it would take this long when my husband and I started TTC. I expected that maybe it would take up to six months, but not a year... or more. I at the point where I'm not expecting anything, I'm just going with it. We aren't living together right now because we don't have a new place yet, and when we do manage to get together its like Christmas or Thanksgiving around because we are forever around various family members because we are each living with some. I really wish life wasn't so stressful and that it could be easy like it was for my sister and brother-in-law. They are due in August with their second (their first is just a year), and it was a first times a charm with them.

Life just seems to be kicking us in the but every month.

Such a cruel joke Cycle 10

I'm not sure as to what to say about this past cycle or the fact that I no longer feel like I am having regular periods. This past cycle was 39 days and I was sure I was pregnant, I had all of these symptoms and feelings that coincided with where I was at time wise. The only thing missing was the BFP, instead I got my period.
I guess I get to look forward to going to talk to my Doctor in a little more then a month about finding out if there is something wrong with me or if DH has something going on.  This is now possible because my DH got a new JOB! Its going to interfere with the baby making because the job is four hours away and living with his Grandma. I am staying in our house until we can figure out what we are going to to do. We can't move until we have either sold or rented the place and cant rent or buy until we have some one lined up for ours. Which leaves us separated for a while because someone has to stay at our house with the dog and cats.  Also with this new job comes an excellent benefits package that should help put things into motion.

No sex for Valentines day? WHAT!

So DH has determined that for the next couple of months we are just not going to have sex. Why you might add? It all comes down to one of his cousins who was born opening day of deer season. His uncle jokenly tells us "don't have baby making sex on Valentines day! It ends up with a phone call opener day about your wife is in labor!" SO he thinks that for the rest of the month and the next couple we aren't having sex. I have to burst his bubble but I think he's crazy. No matter when we get pregnant and are due, there is no matter what going to be a baby some day when its any season opener. He hunts or fishes in just about every season. I don't think there is anything that he hasn't gone out and done. He's going to complain one way or another until it actually happens.

The pains of being a hunters wife...