No sex for Valentines day? WHAT!

So DH has determined that for the next couple of months we are just not going to have sex. Why you might add? It all comes down to one of his cousins who was born opening day of deer season. His uncle jokenly tells us "don't have baby making sex on Valentines day! It ends up with a phone call opener day about your wife is in labor!" SO he thinks that for the rest of the month and the next couple we aren't having sex. I have to burst his bubble but I think he's crazy. No matter when we get pregnant and are due, there is no matter what going to be a baby some day when its any season opener. He hunts or fishes in just about every season. I don't think there is anything that he hasn't gone out and done. He's going to complain one way or another until it actually happens.

The pains of being a hunters wife...

Cycle 9

Cycle nine came exactly when expected and was expected. The past month has been full of frustration and longing. DH and I's one and only bathroom "decided" it needed a re-model. The sink stopped draining and the plumber couldn't figure it out and gave us a couple options. A new kitchen ceiling (no kitchen for who knew how long) or bath re-model because the floor had to come up! Well after two weeks with an interesting floor, we now have a new sub floor and a working sink and were only with out the bathroom for a day. The new floor should get instaled with in the next week or two, just waiting on some help. We bought a tongue and groove solid bamboo floor, we have everything else picked out thats going in but we have to wait until some funds find their way to us.
Our nephew turned one this month and we were able to spend some quality time with the little guy. We also got to see a child hood friends four week old little girl. She is the tiniest thing I have ever held. I felt such longing while holding her. It was the first time I have experienced that feeling while being front and center around my friends and family. I had a hard time concealing  all of the emotion that was welling up. I could tell DH was experiencing the same feelings as he held the new born as well.
 For cycle 10 I've decided to start temping in conjunction with checking CM. I think its time to start focusing more on what my body is telling me verses just going with it kinda like we have been. I keep having this feeling like its going to take a long time for us to get what we want and it only gets worse as the calender counts down the days until DH's job comes to an end (it's grant based).  There seems to always be something that is putting us down lately.

Chemical Pregnacy, Miscarriage?

I'm not sure really whats going on, AF arrived this morning. I had some light cramping last night as I went to bed but nothing I was worried about, I just assumed it was stomach cramps vs. AF cramps. Today though, its defiantly from AF.
Could I have been pregnant? Yes and no. I had yet to get a BFP, I was going to test tomorrow as it would be a full five weeks since my last period. I'm thinking though that I am have a miscarriage of a chemical pregnancy. Only so because I normally never have cramping and AF didn't start out like normal with a small bit of spotting followed by a 12 hour wait. I've had constant cramping since waking accompanied by heavy bleeding (for me).

Cycle 9 will be better

Cycle 9, are you out there?

As it stands right now I'm not sure if cycle 9 is coming. I am going on six days late with two BFN's and no signs of anything except maybe some soar bb's. I'm not really sure how I am feeling at this time.  There's a WHOLE lot of confusion going on, but no real excitement or disappointment either. Obviously I'd be fine if I do get a BFP, but then again I'd be fine too if AF arrives as well. The confusion is spurning from the fact that I have never been late since AF regulated itself out after going off BCP. Over the weekend when I first noticed I was late, I thought it was the stress of the Holidays; then it turned into its the stress I am having from the flu. My family decided they wanted to give me a "very" special gift this Christmas, to spend Christmas night praying to the porcelain goddess. After hearing that you may think MS? No, you forget the two BFN's that I received latter on in the week that I mentioned earlier.  I guess we will give it another week or so, take another test. If there is a BFN then I guess its time to call my doctor..

Sometimes I feel like I may be a bit of a hypochondriac when it comes to "having" pregnancy symptoms.

Cycle 8

It seems as though we have been trying for eight months but in reality its been six and a half. I guess that's how its goes when your cycles are shorter then average. The last two were hard when AF arrived. I let myself cry for a little bit. There had been so many signs that I could have been pregnant, but in the end it was not meant to be.

You always hear, "it'll happen when you stop thinking about it!". But how? How do you stop thinking about it? Its not easy to stop thinking about getting pregnant or children when over half of my friends and family are pregnant or have young kids. I feel as if I don't have anyone to talk to, but its kinda my own fault. We have decide to not tell our friends and family that we are TTC. Mostly because I don't want the "so when are you two going to have kids?!" turn into "you aren't trying heard enough!" or "why not just settle on being an Aunt?". I can stand the "when are you two going to have kids?!", but I don't think I could stand unsolicited advise without crying.  He really asked me this the day after AF arrived.
Hubby- "Babe, why don't we have kids yet so we can go see that?" (on commercial for "We bought a Zoo!")
Me- looks at hubby while eyes well up with tears, "I don't know! Why don't we!?"

After much thought and inner debate, I  have come to the conclusion that its not worth it to TTC this month. AF is destined to arrive on the 25th, which will in turn no matter what put me in a Grinchie mood and I don't want to add tears on top of that that I will have to sneak in in the bathroom or when I get a second to myself.

So hears to cycle 9 and the New Year!